“Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot”. Sherlock Holmes
How do you approach life?
I remember in the early 80’s watching a movie called War Games, where a computer thinks that thermonuclear war is a game. The concept is scary, but I remember it because I have been observing and contemplating how different people approach life.
Some people approach life as if it is a game, and others approach life as if it is a war.
I have also observed that people who approach life as a game are much more successful than people who see life as a war, and I have been trying to analyse why.
When I use the term ‘game’ I am not referring to an approach that is frivolous or flippant. Life it too serious for that. Another way to describe it would be combative or strategic. There is also a vast difference between being strategic and procrastinating and avoiding conflict, although they can look the same.
Firstly – there is a time for war. The famous book of Ecclesiastes says that there is a season for everything, including war. There is, however, a difference between strategically choosing the time for war, and treating everything as if you are in a war.
When I approach life as a strategic game, then:
- When a confrontation happens that could lead to conflict or a battle, I step back, breathe, assess the situation in light of the bigger picture, and plan my response and the way forward.
- I am always playing the long game, and the current situation is seen in the light of the eventual outcome. Every good chess player knows that to win you will have to sacrifice on the way in order to get the win.
Playing a strategic game is exhilarating! You wake up with energy and purpose, and look forward to the day.
Here are some things that are a reality if you approach life as a war:
- Every conflict, disagreement or tense interaction is seen as a battle.
- War starts with the assumption of the intention to harm, which means that you are always assuming that someone is intending to harm you.
- War is stressful because you have to always be on your guard.
- War is exhausting. It sucks the energy and life out of you.
- War is absolute and there is always a winner and a loser, and the consequences for losing are huge. (Actually, in war, nobody really wins)
The best thing about approaching life as a game is that in a game if you lose it is not the end of the world, and there is always space for a do-over.
In a game it is less about winning and losing, and more about playing the game, although sometimes there are winners and losers.
In a war nobody wins.
(There is no “How do I fix this” in this article. I do 6 hours of Coaching to address this)
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